Welcome to Oz-Catraz!

Australians heading for their home Down Under are going through scenes like in some Cold War espionage drama. How could the country known for its dry humor and its freedom loving people slide into such a surreal situation?

I am never ever committing a crime. Why? I just couldn’t do the time. I’m only on Day 10 of my two week Sydney hotel quarantine and I’m already sculpting my bath towels into animal shapes. Clearly it won’t be long until I’m sobbing in the fetal position, braiding my own armpit hair. As my ancestors were transported to Australia as convicts, I presumed incarceration would come naturally. But even jail would be preferable to hotel quarantine; at least in prison you get an exercise yard, plus the odd conjugal visit. 

Welcome to ...